The Fringe is almost at an end! The comedians are packing up their suitcases of hilarity! Soon the Red Bastard debacle will be nothing but a memory! Before the Fringe’s funniest buggers wind down their shows for another year, Rip It Up asked them one last question: If your show came with a government health sticker, what would it say?

FELICITY WARD
“Honesty is good for you even if it makes you feel queasy.”

GERALDINE QUINN
“Warning: Show contains adult themes. Leotards barely contain performer.”
DEANNE SMITH
“Protect your baby from whooping cough (that's just good, sound advice).”

AXIS OF AWESOME
“Warning: Not to be taken orally.”

SAMMY J & RANDY
“Warning: Seeing Sammy J & Randy in Ricketts Lane may result in irreversible coolness and popularity”.

DES BISHOP
“Caution: Emotional honesty may leave you with questions about yourself.”

DAVE CALLAN
“Do not feed the animal.”

CAM KNIGHT
“If swallowed do not induce vomiting. Seek medical advice immediately.”

LOU SANZ
“Do not travel abroad.”

ANDREW O’NEILL
"Contains surrealism."

THE LIST OPERATORS
“Warning! Not educational!”

JUSTIN HAMILTON
“Warning: May contain interesting ideas and gags. Will definitely not be suitable to boring people.”

EDDIE IFFT
“Danger: May cause pregnant women to shoot their babies across the room.”

DAMIAN CALLINAN
“Free government health sticker with every ticket purchase.”

DEAD CAT BOUNCE
“Seeing this show when pregnant can make you twice as pregnant.”

LEHMO
“If he told you the cost of this ticket is tax deductible, he was lying.”

JASON CHONG
“Not coming to this show may harm Jason's unborn babies, specifically his chances of him ever being able to afford them.”

SPONTANEOUS BROADWAY
“Warning: This show may make you laugh your head off.*
(*This is a turn of phrase)”

SAM SIMMONS
“This is a Safety House.”

MARK TRENWITH
“Warning comedian may cry and get awkward if you don’t laugh.”

SMART CASUAL
“Pants essential while watching.”

MEL BUTTLE
“Warning: This show is performed by an eczema sufferer, please watch your step on the flakes as you leave.”

YON, TRIPOD
“Warning: If you have come to a Tripod show, you may be obese, or at the very least, a Goth.”

RED BASTARD
“Caution! This show may cause serious risk to your pride, genitals, social status, bank account, romantic relationship, view of others and/or of yourself. All sales final.”
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